Schedule regular video dates as often as possible to keep the connection alive and strong. Emails and texts can augment video dating, but video dating is the best way to connect while physically apart.
Not being able to physically touch helps the friendship side of the relationship. Being hundreds or thousands of miles/kilometers apart means you can’t jump into bed every time you “see” each other. This lack of physicality fosters getting to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level without physical sex being too much of a focus (or distraction). Also, know that if you are using Skype, all calls are recorded and saved by the NSA, so having video sex is not a great idea if you value your privacy. Zoom might be a better choice.
There can be a lag time with video dating. It’s helpful if one person talks at a time and the couple agrees to use a word that signifies they are finished speaking (like “done”). This is great practice in being an “active” listener, which means being more focused on the other person and what they are saying over what you are planning to say next. By staying PRESENT with your partner, you can feel their energy and truly in-JOY their company while they feel heard. Don’t worry about what you are going to say next, just stay in the flow and let your heart do the talking!
Stay in your HEART. Practice being heart-centered. Sometimes you may both may want be quiet and simply FEEL each other and send love between you. It’s impossible to gaze into each other’s eyes because of the cameras, but sitting in silence and being with each other is a great way to connect and make sure both parties are in their hearts. This is a great way to begin each video date.
Get creative with your video dates. Take turns asking each other questions (it's best to prepare questions in advance), cook a meal together (but separately), read your favorite piece of poetry (and/or write some for each other and read it), share your dreams, hopes and visions… Share what you learned that day and/or what your biggest accomplishment was. Express what turns you on sexually and what you would like to try/learn/explore when you are together.
Have agreements around the type of relationship you have. If you are monogamous, discuss what that means and what you both agree to do (and not do). Respect your partner and yourself by keeping your agreements. Avoid situations that might make your partner feel uncomfortable or question your intentions. Be clear with yourself so you can keep your agreements and be aware of your partner’s feelings.
When one has traveled to the other, or both have met somewhere for a romantic rendezvous, make the time count. If you can take a break from work/business to be with your sweetie, that’s ideal, if not, then spend as much time as possible together, while still being sensitive to the other’s potential need for space.
Plan some fun activities that you both enjoy. Without seeing each other on a regular basis, there may be a bit of an adjustment period when coming back together again. Doing something rather than just hanging out talking can take the pressure off and lighten things up until you settle back into each other’s physical energy. Hiking, working out, taking a class together, going on a bike ride, wine tasting, cooking a meal, having a picnic and dining out are all good options.
Sex can be extra powerful when it’s only for short periods of time. Make it special and communicate your needs and ask questions to learn more about what your partner prefers. You’ve most likely talked about this on video dates, so use the time together to practice tantra, actualize each other’s fantasies and help each other with any needed breakthroughs. Be open and honest with your preferences so your partner knows what works and what doesn’t.
When you both feel that you are ready to take your relationship to the next level and it feels right for one of you to move to where the other lives, or you have decided to move somewhere new together, then go for it. When moving to a new country, immigration can be an issue, but it’s usually not a show stopper. It just takes some perseverance and a bit of research to make sure you are doing everything correctly. Obviously, staying in the same country is much less complicated and usually just takes some courage and love to make that move. Look at it as an exciting adventure that will bring you even more joy, connection and love! Do your best to keep your heart open and to stay in the flow so you will always be guided as to the next step. Have fun and in-JOY the entire process!
Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the Conscious Dating Network, the largest network of exclusively conscious/spiritual/green dating sites on the Internet, featuring her flagship site, www.SpiritualSingles.com launched in 2000 and www.GreenSingles.com inherited in 2014. There are several dating sites that all share the same, large database of members in the spiritual/green niche. All members automatically have access to all members from all sites, by joining one site.
During the first 9-years of growing her online dating site business, Jill worked a “day job” as Director and Sales Trainer for the original photo/video bricks and mortar dating company in the US. During that time she interviewed over 6000 singles in 7 different states.
Jill is an inspirational public speaker and is known for her candor, vulnerability, down to earth honesty and humor as she helps singles thrive in the world of online dating and ultimately meet their life partners. She is also a hypnotherapist, metaphysician and facilitator of Wild Dolphin and Whale Swim Retreats and SCUBA Trips for Singles. Her events site, www.SpiritualEvents.com promotes conscious/spiritual events worldwide.
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